frumiousb

Here I am, writing a sentence: "I am starting to feel more confident." Knock wood. Duck and cover. Cower at my daring. I may get struck by lightning for saying something like that, but I'm going to type it otherwise I won't let myself even believe it.

Some blessings:

• Spoke to my boss on the phone yesterday, and he told me that they had arranged things so that I could be gone until the end of next year, should I so desire. If I *can* return to work before the baby is born, they'll love to have me. But they want me to put our health first. Sometimes I am simply amazed with all the grace that there is in this world.
  
  
• nikkyb was over again last night and cooked dinner for B. and I. Again with the grace. I should be ashamed to ever call myself unlucky.
  
  
• Making fun of my own fear. This morning, I felt a hard spot a few inches above my belly button and I was sure that it was a contraction. This depressed me, since I generally don't get them in the morning. I've discovered that they respond to warmth, so I gave it a gentle little circular rub. Imagine my surprise when the contraction kicked my hand back. Not a contraction, a foot. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Also, it means that she's turned around again.
  
  
• Last night I had a dream that I was in a castle having dinner. Some guests arrived, and they rode their horses up the stairs. I felt validated since I had insisted this was the custom in the country. I did feel guiltily aware that not everyone lived in a castle, not even a brokedown one like this.
  
  
• Winter blooming flowers:
  
  
  
• B. has felt safe enough to get out of the house and do more with his friends. I'm so happy for him-- this has been as hard on him as it is on me. One of us needs to not be a shut in.
  
  
• Storm that swept in yesterday and turned the sky as black as night. I thought "tornado" when I saw the fell orange light all around the edges of the black. It was very beautiful. Later I read about the tornado in London.

I'm going to go for a little walk later today, and damn the rain.

Cursory blessing counting exercise from Schiphol airport. I'm on my way to Helsingborg again tonight.

Had part two of the long meeting in which last time I kicked ass. This time it was harder-- no ass kicking. But still, we have something that looks like a plan. Baby steps, baby steps.

At the train station, a hipster couple sees the train approaching. They embrace spontaneously, moved by their parting. The woman in the couple has a suitcase. They recovered themselves nearly as quickly as they lost themselves. They pulled apart as the train pulled in and carefully moved away from each other. The man straightened his glasses. "Nou, bah." he commented. "Nou, bah." she agreed. It was somehow critical that they show no emotion. She boarded the train without a backwards glance.

I use Schiphol now to do all my high end cosmetics shopping. I fly too much.

Hosed down my cat yesterday in the bath. He didn't like it much, but was running around like a lunatic immediately afterwards, so I guess it felt good. It sucks to be a Maine Coon in a heat wave...

Have a nice day or so everyone. I'll bring you back treats from Sweden if you ask nicely.